hatred is temporary but the feelings is permanent

as my blood run through my veins
the other half of me remains
i dont't need to accept my fate
co'z i might be suffocate.


good memories will stay
but i don't want to betray
maybe it will always be the same
but im striving to call your name.


if this is the end 
i won't pretend
i'll be sad instead.


feelings will last surely
heartaches is temporary
hatred is normal
but im trying to be formal.


everything is fading through our hearts
but i don't want us to be apart
maybe im upset
but my mind is already set.


thank you for becoming a part of my life
i'll see you afte life
all i want to say is i will always love you
even i suffer and call me a fool 
i will accept to become a tool.






12/30/11

a dream that became a nightmare with no certain reason

last night i dream for the happy ending 

in that dream i was walking ang looking for something that i don't know what it is 

but i didn't give up in the end i found the answer of my question in my mind because i saw a name written on the wall

named "xiru" even though i have no idea in the first place but i didn't lose hope to look for the answer in my dream instead i search for it 

i search everywhere in the end i've travel to a place that i don't know where to go and in that dream a guy riding a motorcycle ask me where im going 

i answer "she's waiting for me" and he replied "good luck" and i response to him and say "thanks" after that he left.

after the long travel i've reach my exact location even though im not sure to it but a minute later someone is laughing at me and said "she won't come because she didn't know"

after i heard a voice coming from nowhere i've tried to wake up because i don't want to end that way instead i've tried to wake up no matter what even though i have no idea if im going to make it but i try.

the effort didn't fail but the tears fall on my eyes with no certain reason while im lying on my bed and remembering all the events on my dream.

i think there's a reason why that dream happen

it's because i don't want to lose you forever

after i've finish writing this my tears fall just like the rain with no certain reason 

it's because i don't want to lose you.

11/20/11

the reason of being special

i don't need a reason to be happy
i don't need a reason to smile all day
i don't need a reason to be upset every night

but there's a reason why im doing this

because your my therapy when im sad
because your my savior when i want to give up my dream
because you the one who whisper on my ear and say "go for it"

but there's one reason why i did this

it's because you made me special.

a hundred reason to describe

some of them think im lazy
but sad to say im crazy
they rather say im one sided
but sad to say im undecided


some of them say im not thinking the future
but sad to say im challenging the future
they rather say im a critic
but sad to say im a skeptic


some of them think im invincible
but sad to say im miserable
they rather say im the one
but sad to say im no one




some of them think im nothing
but sad to say im something
they rather say im loveless
but sad to say im clueless


some of them think i don't believe in love
but sad to say im in love
they rather say im unreal
but sad to say im real


some of you have questions
but sad to say this is my answer.




09/05/11

this is me

some people might think im crazy but im not

some people might think im a weirdo but im not

some people might think im stupid but im not

it's up to you to judge me for the things you saw through my personality i don't care.

i don't care who you are

i don't care about your personality

i don't care if your being deceived 

i don't care if your life is miserable. 

love me if you truly accept me

hate me for being snobbish i don't care.

love me for being sincere

hate me for the false apology because you made me do it.

love me for the rest of your life

hate me for the anger 

because my feelings is already dead since your playing games.

08/20/11 

moving on without you

time to start over

time to love including yourself

time to understand the fact

time to face the reality

time to accept the truth behind those words

time to think the future

time thank everyone including your true friends for being there when your down

time to be happy all the time

time to be focus 

time to enjoy life

time to open your eyes

time to speak about your inner thoughts

time to express your true intention

time to say that "she's gone"

and most of all...

time to move on.

08/15/11

emotion kills

i don't have the heart to laugh

since you hurt me

i don't have a reason to understand your true intention

and i don't want to witness you suffer and beg for forgiveness.

i don't care who you are

i don't care about your past

i don't care if your sick

i don't care if someone stab you.

you don't deserve to be happy

you don't deserve to be love by someone 

you don't deserve being special. 

hate me for being what i am

hate me for being like this

hate me for being clueless.

wish you were dead

wish you were deceived 

wish you were born nothing 

wish you were crazy

wish you were out of my sight.

08/13/11

dreaming for nothing

everyday there's always illusion around you

every minute they whisper for nothing

talking for nonsense or off topic

what will you do?

cover your ears if your afraid to hear the truth

close your eyes if you dont accept the things around you

speak if your truly hurt

speak if you dont pretend

speak if your not happy.

hate the the people around you if your emotions are filled with sadness

hate her and gone for good

hate everything including yourself.

dream for the inner thoughts

dream for a positive way

dream for yourself

dreaming is not a mistake.

 08/11/11